No, scratch that, its damn hard.
Praise God, Hannah had hers taken off a couple weeks ago. I am definitely not sorry to see the back of that thing. Granted, it did do its job and hold Hannah's leg in place so it could heal, so for that I am thankful. Her leg is healed enough to have it taken off and she is under strict instructions not to run or jump or wrestle with her brothers for the next 5 weeks until it is meant to be fully healed and ready to be put through its paces.
The 7 weeks Hannah was in her cast were some of the most intense days I have ever lived. She was so very frustrated, which came out in many many tantrums. She would scream for me and me only, which would frustrate Ben who just wanted to help Hannah and ease the strain on me. Our marriage experienced pressure like never before. It was quite eye opening and I quickly had a new found awe and respect for parents with physically disabled kids.
Most nights I was exhausted physically from lifting Hannah around and emotionally from dealing with screaming tantrums. Admittedly, sometimes they were mine. Thankfully, Hannah slept peacefully every night, bar a couple, so I could at least get a good night's sleep. That in itself is a miracle. I read all sorts of horrid tales of kids in spica's being up all night feeling itchy and uncomfortable. It was just one of many ways the Lord took great care of us during that time.
Over the course of the cast, Hannah decided it was time to be toilet trained. Of course I couldn't refuse but man it was tough lifting her to the loo everytime she thought there was a wee coming. Which was a lot. Like 15+ times a day. Most being false alarms. At any rate, my physique benefitted and now I have the shoulders and biceps of a football player.
Towards the end of the casting period, I started to not enjoy taking her out in public. I began to get sick of the looks and the sympathy. That sounds horrible doesn't it. I know people were being genuinely nice but if I heard one more 'awwwwwwwww' I was going to scream. Or cry. Probably both. One guy we came across in Target gave me no cause for concern as he informed me 'she should be more careful next time.' Thanks mate. How about I punch you in the face? I guess I was just longing for her to be normal again, to not give people a reason to look at us weird. That being said, Hannah seems to attract people where ever she goes, so I guess I just have to get used to it.
Finally the time came for her cast to be removed. The sawing off part went surprisingly well, Hannah was intrigued watching the saw cut down the sides and the loud noise didn't really bother her at all. The problem came when the guy actually removed the cast. Suddenly her legs were free. They flailed all over the place as she had little control over her muscles and her joints were so stiff from being held in one place for so long that she was in a lot of pain. Hannah began to cry and cry. She shook and wailed and it took about 20mins to calm her down. I think she was pretty confused about why it felt so horrible to have the cast off. Her legs were all scaly and skinny and pasty. They looked pretty gross. I had to pick her up to take her to have a xray and she was as light as a feather. Even carrying her made her cry and her legs continued to have a mind of their own, each wobbling about of its accord.
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| Sawing the cast off |
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| Legs free and flopping about |
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| Ready for the hot tub |
Once Hannah settled down, she realised that she was free. She started to smile, laugh and wriggle her toes. On the way home in the car she kept saying, 'look at my legs, Mum!' She was the happiest I had seen her in almost 8 weeks. She couldn't stand, walk or even move her legs yet but they were free and she was excited! When we put her to bed that night, she moved her legs around and around under the covers, enjoying the feel of the sheets against her skin. She rolled over and exclaimed 'look at me! I am on my tummy!' It was so lovely to see her enjoying her new found limbs.
It took a couple weeks before she could walk by herself. Even now she is not exactly nimble. More robotic. I took her to a friends hot tub a few times just to get her knees and ankles to loosen up. It really helped but it hurt her to put her joints through a full range of motion. Mornings are still a little hard for her as she wakes up a bit stiff and sore. She prefers to crawl out of bed and it takes about an hour before she is ready to take her first steps for the day. She is still quite unsteady on her feet and falls over quite a bit but she is so stubborn and determined that she WILL walk where ever she can. We have been so impressed with her fortitude through out this whole time. She is a remarkable girl with a will of steel and such a powerful spirit. She has been more than a handful but I wouldn't change her. I'm so very proud of her, she'll do great things in her life.
Thanks to everyone who has supported us throughout these last few months. We have so appreciated your love and prayers and practical help. Our community here in Redding has blessed us so deeply. Please keep Hannah in your prayers as she still needs full restoration of her legs so she can run and dance and be the girl she was created to be. A bringer of freedom, a worshipper of her Lord and carrier of hope.
