So what's next???

Look at this! I am back!

I want to warn you about a strange phenomenon! When you pray crazy, ridiculously massive prayers, like the ones that come from a place that is so deep that as soon as they leave your mouth you almost try and stuff them back in, guess what?  God hears those prayers and actually takes each one of them seriously. He is moved by every one of your passionate decrees. As soon as you pray it, He is faithful to begin to answer it.

So, if you want your comfortable life messed up, then keep praying prayers that scare the wits out of you! You are positioning yourself to step into what is possible through the God of the impossible who lives inside of you. He wants to do abundantly above and beyond anything we can ever ask or imagine, (Eph 3:20) So why not ask or imagine something far greater than you ever have before.

This is just the way I have always prayed. God has graced me with faith to believe that my prayers no matter how big or ridiculous would be heard and answered. I remember that as a child, I prayed AND believed for big things.  After all, He is a rewarder of those that diligently seek Him (Hebrews 11:6) And so it should have come as no surprise to me when God began to place in me dreams far greater than I ever could have imagined, than I still can barely fathom.

It has been a dream come true, being here in Redding these past two years. I remember how hard I wept when I found the Bethel website and read the description of the school. Such was the strength of passion and the longing in me to be immersed in the culture they described. All I wanted was a chance to have a season where I was almost forced to pursue intimacy and power.  I knew there was so much more of God to discover, and so much more that had to be expressed through my life to the world around me. All I honestly wanted was to pursue Him, to seek His face with all I had, and I knew that this was absolutely the place for me to do that.

You know when you get a promise from God and it seems impossible with many obstacles in between you and what would make that dream a reality. But you know, that you know, there is nothing that is going to stop you from partaking of that promise. Well that was how it was when I began to pursue this dream. There were so many things that, in the natural realm, made it seem impossible.  Being poised to inherit a 7th generation successful family farm as the only son was a big one.  It being impossible financially and not appearing in anyway a smart financial decision was another.  The pain of moving away from all my family and friends, being the captain of the Football Club and having to leave a week before final's started, VISA's, having a young family with our third child still under a year old.
Whatever would make it impossible seemed to multiply around us, but we had a word from the LORD to go and NOTHING was going to stand in the way of all of those ridiculous prayers that I had prayed for years. God had set me up.

God made a way where there was no way and we did make it over to Redding and I did attend 2 years at the School of Ministry.  Although many things have been and still are hard, there is nothing as truly life giving as stepping into the very thing your spirit has longed for all of your life. This school and the experiences in it have changed me in every way and I feel so thankful to God and to everyone who has contributed in any way to make this dream become a reality.

Is there something inside of you that you know is a God dream that you just can't shake? Are there things inside of you that you know if you went after would mean your normal life would crumble around you? But you still wonder what would happen if you allowed yourself to pursue that thing that burns inside of you? Or the one area of life that really excites you but makes no sense in pursuing?

I can only say that from my families experience it has been absolutely worth it, it's been even better than I ever thought it could have been. My advice for what it is worth if it burns in you so brightly that you can't possibly ignore it then don't ignore it!

So BSSM 2nd year was a challenging, stretching and amazing year for me and the whole family. My class was full of the most amazing young emerging leaders that will be known throughout the earth in the next 20 years or so. In light of this, it can be a very challenging place if you allow yourself to start comparing yourself to those around you. I had to work through a lot of performance and fear this year. It was a whole new challenge to have things to lead and run, and at the same time unlearning any mindsets about having to be the best or the most anointed rather than the one chosen and called to lead.

I didn't realize how much of a perfectionist I was and how you can be deceived and think it's just God given excellence. It really can be a fine line between the two. God in His grace, gently uproots and exposes and leads us to change. I will always be on this journey of becoming more and more like Him, and so in no way have I graduated from that process but I feel like I progressed significantly this year in this area, and I am so thankful for that opportunity.  As I step into Christian ministry and leadership, I want to do it from a place of purity of heart and not a desire to impress anyone or protect my image.  In that respect, 2nd year was vital.

It was fun to start running home groups and be chosen to be the "Senior Leader" of our Church Leadership Track where we would run actual Church services with a congregation and everything. It was super stretching as I really had no idea what I was doing!!! HAHA, but He helped me and I grew a lot.

I was again nominated for the M. Earl Johnson award, which is the individual award given out to one male and one female student who best typifies the definition of a revivalist. For all the Aussies: kind of like the Brownlow medal for my school! There were 16 nominees from the whole school of over 600 so I was again humbled to be nominated.
They announced the nominees in class and the head of the school said "congratulations Ben, but you know you can't win it twice right? I mean come on Ben, what else do you want from us?'  It was funny and I was just super glad that I didn't have the stress that I had the year before with knowing I was in with a strong chance of winning and having to prepare a speech!

My two closest mates in school were both nominated and it was fun to sit and watch them squirm through the whole process while I could just enjoy it. As nominees we were each given an individual letter from the head of 2nd year, a small momento and each announced and presented on the stage.
Graduation was such a fun night for me, I had both sets of parents over from Australia which was really special as I did really miss family the year before. I also had a great night celebrating so many of my closest friends, and realizing what God had done in all of us over two years. Looking back and reflecting on all He had done, His faithfulness, His transforming power, and just getting excited with what is going to happen when 600 students of this calibre get released all over the earth, into every sphere of influence in society. Come on Jesus!!

Towards the end of school it became apparent that there could be a possibility of me becoming a staff member and a Pastor in the School. I was asked to have an interview and of course I accepted the invitation.  It was a long drawn out process and with so many amazing candidates to chose from, it was truly an honour to even be asked.

It was a case of more than I could ever ask or imagine. I can honestly say I never, ever had the thought of me being employed as a Revival Group Pastor in the school. I had come for 2 years and that was all I could have hoped for. It wasn't until I started having Prophetic words from many people in first year that they saw me doing that role, and as my identity began to change, where for the first time I saw myself the way God saw me, then, when I was given the individual award after first year I thought maybe this was actually a possibility and so a dream was born in my heart, with a word from God to go with it.

It was actually scary to begin to dream of something that I wanted so much, it was as though I was opening up this massive area of disappointment that if I didn't dream and pursue it I would never open up my heart to the possibility of such pain.
I seemed to be going along okay during the interview process but during the final tick of approval interview from the head of the whole school and the dean I seemed to just tighten up and I had a stinker of an interview and I had to wait for a few weeks to find out. I thought that I had lost my chance as it really didn't go great!  It was kind of like torture but at the same time I got to trust God, and realize that it's not about how I "performed" in the interview it was about me as a person and the call of God on my life that they could see I carried to be able to do the job.

And so I finally got the phone call that I had been waiting for and I was offered the job as a Revival Group Pastor in 1st year BSSM!  AMAZING!!! I will pastor around 65 students and lead 3 or 4 interns through the school year.   I will also be getting other pastoral/staff/ministry opportunities and responsibilities in school and different Church services/conferences during the year.

The opportunity to step into Ministry in such an incredible School and Church is a just such a great blessing. To lead in a culture that is healthy really sets up my future as a leader, where ever God takes me. To be able to join in staff meetings with some of my absolute heroes is an incredible bonus. It will be a strange transition from student to staff member, but one that I am looking forward to wholeheartedly.

So I start my new job in a week!  My first official day is the 5th of August and so one chapter ends and another one starts. We went through all kinds of fun to get our new VISA's sorted which Jo is going to entertain you with in the coming weeks. (Isn't she an incredible writer!! If you think so you should tell her because I tell her and she just thinks I am being biased!! But she really is isn't she.)

We are staying in Redding, California for at least the next two years as that is how long our VISA lasts for. It is really exciting but also a little sad, as we always miss our Aussie family and friends.  We are aware of the consequences of our decisions to stay, like our kids not able to grow up all together with their cousins and all the little things that come with being away from Australia for so long.
Like having 3 young Australian children that sound exactly like little American's! Yep it has come to that.

But we have counted the cost and know that this is absolutely right where we need to be for this season and we continue to ask for your prayers, your phone calls, Skype chats, text and Facebook messages. We really are a long way away and so value any contact or encouragement from back home as we love and miss you all so much.

I personally would value your prayers as I am definitely being thrown in the deep end which is the answer to many of those crazy prayers I have always prayed. And exactly how I want it to be but it is always uncomfortable when you feel like you can't touch the bottom any more.

We are blessed to be getting a wage from my role but we will still be getting less than what it costs to be here for a year. So any financial support is still absolutely welcome and deeply appreciated also.

So hopefully I have gotten you all up to date with the incredible first two years of this journey and can't wait for what God does in this next season. So stay tuned!

Latvia? Where is Lativa?

So for my next trick or should I say so for my next trip!!

Another installment of my attempt at catching you up with some of my experiences this last year.

So as part of our second year student experience at BSSM (Bethel Supernatural School of Ministry) we get $700 out of our tuition payment to spend towards traveling on Ministry trips with leaders from Bethel Church all over the USA and the world. And for those with more to spend than the allotted $700 you can apply and go on as many trips as you are accepted on.
The school schedule is so full on and for those of us blessed to be married with 3 small kids to add into the mix then there really isn't much more time or money to be found to be traveling during the school year and so I only went on a weekend trip that practically cost nothing as it was just a few hours drive down the road. But is was a really fun trip.

A month or so before school had ended I was approached by the head of 2nd year to be 1 of 4 students to go with Kris Vallotton (Senior Associate Pastor, and head of BSSM) on a trip to Latvia which would be a week and a half after school had finished. It really was an honour as he was asked by Kris to pick the best 4 students in his opinion in school to go on this trip and as I was able to spend my $700 on the trip it didn't make it that expensive and because it was after school was finished Jo and I both felt like I was supposed to go. And so I said yes and went.

Riga, Capital of Latvia

It is a really important trip to Kris with a lot of access and opportunities for him and so therefore us as well being his ministry trip on this trip. Kris was speaking at an "Empowering Women" conference where we prophesied over the women after the sessions for hours at a time it was so fun but so draining as they just kept on lining up seemingly forever. Kris also spoke at a "Leadership Conference" It wasn't supposed to be just a Christian conference but more leadership principles from a Kingdom perspective. And so not just Leader's in Christian circles came, but also government leaders, business leaders, the wealthiest and most influential of Latvia came it was incredible to see. So as part of this conference our team split up into 2 groups and did something called prophetic booths, where each conference goer was given an allotted time slot to come out and visit us and be prophesied over. Except it wasn't worded like that obviously. It was worded more an opportunity to have a session of direction and encouragement. And so we had world class non believing leaders coming and sitting down with their voice recorder's on their smart phones recording "prophetic" words and directions that we were giving them. Haha it was really stretching and super fun all at once. There were a lot of Christians in these sessions as well but we obviously didn't know which ones. So it was really different than what we had gotten used to as Bethel students, we had to find a completely different language and way of telling them what God was saying.

Looking sharp for the Kingdom, it's what I do.

Oftentimes though after 5 or more minutes of encouragement and accurate prophetic words we went for it with being open about God and how much He loves them and it was astounding to see just how receptive they were to it after encountering how real He actually is and how intimately He knows them and cares about their life. It was rare for them not to leave moved or in tears, God was having so much fun with these leaders.

We were asked to dress in business attire for the conferences.  This meant I needed a suit!  It was a big change from the usual shorts and tshirt but a fun difference (for a short time at least).

One of the days I was using the toilet/restroom (its where all the revelation happens!) and I felt as though God was giving me a very specific picture of an engineering project in Latvia.  As I thought more about it, He gave me more and more insight and I was blown away by the details He was giving me.  That day at the conference I wondered who the word was for but didn't feel any leading towards anyone I came into contact with.   I shared my experience with my mate who I was rooming with on the trip but I ended up forgetting about it after a while as I was concentrating on everyone else.

Later that afternoon a man came to our table for his allotted 'encouragement time'.  I immediately felt that this was the guy.  As he sat down I asked him whether the engineering project I 'saw' meant anything to him.  His eyes popped open and his jaw dropped.  I took that as a yes.  The man went on to describe a certain project his company had been considering but as yet had not settled on beginning.  I told him everything else the Lord had shown me and soon this man was in tears.  It is incredible to watch someone be touched by God simply by knowing that He knows them and the concerns of their heart.  I was hesitant to give such a directional word but at the same time confident that it was the right time and that God was moving powerfully in this man.

But it would seem that God was speaking very clearly to him and his company and so it will be fun to see the outcome of his conversations with God and whether he goes ahead with the project.
It was the most crazy clear and direct word I have ever given someone, and first ever word given with such large financial implications if it is right or wrong. All you can do is obey!!

Haha all Glory to God!!

We prophesied for 10 hours a day for 2 days in a row during this leadership conference and I tell you I have never been so spiritually tired in all my life. But wow it was so so so rewarding and life giving to see how God was touching so many.

We also got to go into Government house and pray and prophesy, go to orphanages and minister and love on people. The men on the team got to go out to a men only drug and alcohol re-hab centre where we were given full permission to do as we liked. So we each had a 10 minute slot to share whatever we wanted, which went really well which led into times of prophetic words over individuals and seeing God miraculously heal many of them. They were seriously hardened men. They know each other really well and know which ones are in pain and sick as they had lived together for years many of them. So as they watched old friends getting healed before their eyes and crying and getting touched by the Lord they all wanted prayer for their physical issues it was amazing. We saw 10-15 healed and 8 of these precious men give their lives to Jesus that day and it was truly a humbling experience. God is so good!!!!!

This trip was an incredible experience and one I was so grateful to be a part of. We were treated like kings and taken to the nicest restaurants in Riga. (which is the capital city of Latvia) But because of how far north we were we would be chatting away after our meal and although the sun was still setting it actually was already 11:30pm. We got to have a few meals and good chats with Kris too which was a great thrill to be able to ask him questions and hear his wisdom and humour and around the meal table.

So just a snapshot of another life changing experience from my time in 2nd year BSSM this last year. In my next blog in the next week or so I will tell you more about my school year experience and also some exciting developments for next year!! So stay tuned.

From China, With Love

So loyal followers and supporters!!!!

The time has finally come when I (Ben) will attempt over the course of the next few weeks to catch you up on a lot of my news. I honestly value your love, prayers, and financial support more than you know but that is only because I don't blog often enough to tell you!! Haha but seriously I really do.

I really miss Australia and all of you friends and family deeply, but at the same time have never felt more alive, happy and content with being over here in the States but would love to make more of an effort to keep you updated with my life.

I was so thrilled to be given the opportunity to go on a Mission's trip to China as part of my schooling this year. The school splits up and travels all over the world on Mission's trips. I think the entire school went to over 45 nations on missions trips during that 2-3 week period. Pretty incredible! And a massive logistical operation for the school.

I am really not able to be able to share with you over this medium all of the things I did or who I spoke too or where I went due to the delicate nature of the situation over there, and wanting to protect those that we were lucky enough to minister too and with. And so it makes it hard to share with you the  awesome testimonies from our time there. But needless to say it was a very impactful trip, travelling to three different locations across China and meeting with key leaders and being fortunate enough to minister to them and encourage, prophesy and pray for them. It truly was a remarkable honour to minister to these giants of the faith that have gone through so much, and are bearing such INCREDIBLE fruit. God is alive and well in China, and the Gospel is spreading literally out of control, and it won't be stopped by any man or any system.

We encouraged those where persecution was an everyday occurence, and fruit was more sparce or harder to measure. We went to one of the most beautiful areas surely on the entire planet, we did most of the tourist things, like the temple's, the forbidden city, even bike riding and rock climbing.
We stayed at heights equalling Mt Everest base camp, and climbed even higher in a bus to where just bending over trying to tie up your laces left you gasping for breath because you weren't getting enough air into your lungs. We had 5 of the team rotating on 3 Oxygen tanks as we landed at around 14,000 feet with absolutely no time to adjust. Girls where fainting and spewing up, it was pretty full on. It took a couple of days of almost complete rest for everyone to start to feel semi-normal again. I was mostly okay I had a bad headache, but when the first girl fainted I started to run to get the oxygen tank and realized very quickly that walking quickly was going to be the best that I could do without passing out myself. It truly was a bizzarre experience and something that unless you have experienced it you would never think would affect you. Who would have thought that oxygen was so important.

We travelled for over 60 hours on the trip, with many different airports and airplanes. The culture changed more and more the further inland we went. One cultural adjustment that was particularly difficult was the squatting toilet. All for one time I managed to avoid the squatting toilet and quite often most places would have an option for both. And man they love to smoke in China, it's not banned anywhere every room pretty much will have someone smoking in it. AAARRRGGHHH!!! So I am at the airport looking to start my long journey home. Not really being that excited about going to the toilet at 30,000 ft I decide it's best to go while still on the ground. So inside the toilet/restroom they would have mostly squat toilets and often one sit down toilet right at the end. So I get to the end stall and the door is wide open so I glance in hoping to find that elusive "normal" toilet but instead find a man squatting down doing his business, smoking a cigarette, holding his phone infront of his face and texting all at the same time. And I am shocked, slightly disturbed and full of admiration of such a feat all at the same time. I thought that was a fitting way to begin my way home from China, as many things there had looked very different than what I was expecting to see. But unlike that experience in the toilet stall where I had been disturbed with what I had seen, all though I was disturbed at the hopelessness of those stuck in religious Bhuddism, and the attempts to control by those in authority it was nothing compared to what I had expected it to be coming in. Mostly I walked away with a whole new first hand experience of the hope and the level of momentum that Jesus Christ and His bride is having in the great nation of China.

So I just want to say a massive thank you to all of those that contributed in any way to my trip to China, either financially or prayerfully I so appreciate it, and returned back from that trip a different person. I came back with a different perspective on what is possible in God, and how impossible it is for His purposes to be stopped no matter how strong, intentional and powerful the opposition.

He really is winning, and in His grace He uses us to outwork that victory.

Getting real about Spica living.

Life with a kid in a spica cast is tricky.

No, scratch that, its damn hard.

Praise God, Hannah had hers taken off a couple weeks ago.  I am definitely not sorry to see the back of that thing.  Granted, it did do its job and hold Hannah's leg in place so it could heal, so for that I am thankful.  Her leg is healed enough to have it taken off and she is under strict instructions not to run or jump or wrestle with her brothers for the next 5 weeks until it is meant to be fully healed and ready to be put through its paces.

The 7 weeks Hannah was in her cast were some of the most intense days I have ever lived.  She was so very frustrated, which came out in many many tantrums.  She would scream for me and me only, which would frustrate Ben who just wanted to help Hannah and ease the strain on me.  Our marriage experienced pressure like never before.  It was quite eye opening and I quickly had a new found awe and respect for parents with physically disabled kids.

Most nights I was exhausted physically from lifting Hannah around and emotionally from dealing with screaming tantrums.  Admittedly, sometimes they were mine.  Thankfully, Hannah slept peacefully every night, bar a couple,  so I could at least get a good night's sleep.  That in itself is a miracle.  I read all sorts of horrid tales of kids in spica's being up all night feeling itchy and uncomfortable.  It was just one of many ways the Lord took great care of us during that time.

Over the course of the cast, Hannah decided it was time to be toilet trained.  Of course I couldn't refuse but man it was tough lifting her to the loo everytime she thought there was a wee coming.  Which was a lot.  Like 15+ times a day.  Most being false alarms.  At any rate, my physique benefitted and now I have the shoulders and biceps of a football player.

Towards the end of the casting period, I started to not enjoy taking her out in public.  I began to get sick of the looks and the sympathy.  That sounds horrible doesn't it.  I know people were being genuinely nice but if I heard one more 'awwwwwwwww' I was going to scream. Or cry.  Probably both.  One guy we came across in Target gave me no cause for concern as he informed me 'she should be more careful next time.'  Thanks mate.  How about I punch you in the face?  I guess I was just longing for her to be normal again, to not give people a reason to look at us weird.  That being said, Hannah seems to attract people where ever she goes, so I guess I just have to get used to it.

Finally the time came for her cast to be removed.  The sawing off part went surprisingly well, Hannah was intrigued watching the saw cut down the sides and the loud noise didn't really bother her at all.  The problem came when the guy actually removed the cast.  Suddenly her legs were free.  They flailed all over the place as she had little control over her muscles and her joints were so stiff from being held in one place for so long that she was in a lot of pain.  Hannah began to cry and cry.  She shook and wailed and it took about 20mins to calm her down.  I think she was pretty confused about why it felt so horrible to have the cast off.  Her legs were all scaly and skinny and pasty.  They looked pretty gross.  I had to pick her up to take her to have a xray and she was as light as a feather.  Even carrying her made her cry and her legs continued to have a mind of their own, each wobbling about of its accord.

Sawing the cast off

Legs free and flopping about

Ready for the hot tub

Once Hannah settled down, she realised that she was free.  She started to smile, laugh and wriggle her toes.  On the way home in the car she kept saying, 'look at my legs, Mum!'  She was the happiest I had seen her in almost 8 weeks.  She couldn't stand, walk or even move her legs yet but they were free and she was excited!  When we put her to bed that night, she moved her legs around and around under the covers, enjoying the feel of the sheets against her skin.  She rolled over and exclaimed 'look at me! I am on my tummy!'  It was so lovely to see her enjoying her new found limbs.

It took a couple weeks before she could walk by herself.  Even now she is not exactly nimble.  More robotic.  I took her to a friends hot tub a few times just to get her knees and ankles to loosen up.  It really helped but it hurt her to put her joints through a full range of motion.  Mornings are still a little hard for her as she wakes up a bit stiff and sore.  She prefers to crawl out of bed and it takes about an hour before she is ready to take her first steps for the day.  She is still quite unsteady on her feet and falls over quite a bit but she is so stubborn and determined that she WILL walk where ever she can.  We have been so impressed with her fortitude through out this whole time.  She is a remarkable girl with a will of steel and such a powerful spirit.  She has been more than a handful but I wouldn't change her.  I'm so very proud of her, she'll do great things in her life.

Thanks to everyone who has supported us throughout these last few months.  We have so appreciated your love and prayers and practical help.  Our community here in Redding has blessed us so deeply.   Please keep Hannah in your prayers as she still needs full restoration of her legs so she can run and dance and be the girl she was created to be.  A bringer of freedom, a worshipper of her Lord and carrier of hope.

Birthdays and broken bones....

January 31st was Lachie's 5th birthday.

It was a very exciting day because don't you know? Life begins at 5.  Well that's what Lachie thought anyway!  In Australia, he would have started school last week.  In America, he has to wait until September.  He is pretty bummed about that, he cant wait to start.  That being said, he can already read Sam's 1st grade readers with confidence and expression, count to 100 and write his alphabet.  Can someone say 'genius'?  He gets that from me.  

Anyway, back to his birthday.  Before he asked for anything in the way of presents for his birthday, he asked for lasagne and chocolate pudding to be his birthday dinner.  He loves his tucker.  Our wonderful friends the Millikan's threw him an impromptu birthday party after school on his birthday.  It was lovely and Lachie felt very special to have friends around him to celebrate.  Mummy felt very special to have a friend like Ali who is organised and generous, to throw her son a party.  Note to self; get your act together next year.

We had our wonderful Aussie friends, Tony and Karna here for the week so they got to join us for our delicious birthday feast that night.  They gave Lachie the game 'Uno Attack' which has been in play constantly since coming out of the box.  Teaching the boys to follow the rules and be gracious winners/losers has been interesting but they are getting the hang of it.  Being a good sport is very important to an Aussie.  And its very important in life.  Proverbs 29:23 says 'A man's pride will bring him low, but the humble in spirit will retain honour'.

So the 'birthday' part of this post title is covered.  Now onto the part you are really wondering about.  Broken bones.

Last Saturday, at 3:30pm, Hannah broke her left femur.

We were just about to leave to go home from the park when Hannah fell in the bark chips and began to scream.  All you parents out there would know the cry that only comes out of your child's mouth when something is seriously hurting.  She lay on her back, looking very shocked and not breathing right.  We thought that perhaps she had just been winded so we picked her up which brought more screams.  She was inconsolable.  We tried to figure out where she was hurt as there were no scratches, bleeding or bruising.  We asked Sam if anyone had bumped into her or if she had fallen off of the play equipment.  He said he was sure neither happened and told us that she had simply fallen over.

With Hannah still screaming we made it back to the car and had concluded that something was wrong with her left leg.  We were with some friends who gathered around her and prayed.  Not that she let anyone come within arms reach of her leg!  She was not a happy girl.

Hannah cried all the way home and I knew something was seriously wrong.  She is a super tough kid and usually the hurting cry only lasts a few minutes. This was on another level we'd never experienced before.  We got her inside, gave her some ibuprofen and laid her flat on her back on the couch with her legs on a pillow.  She eventually calmed down but would not let anyone touch her leg.  She was still very shaky and in pain.  It was so sad to see her like that.


After some discussion with a doctor friend, we decided to take her into get checked out in the ER.  We left the boys in the care of Karna and Tony and took Hannah to Shasta Regional Hospital.  We had been advised that their waiting time was less than the other hospital in town, Mercy.  We were seen quite quickly and in a few hours, Hannah had been X-rayed and the diagnosis of a broken femur had been given.  Hannah did so well.  She was up way past her bedtime, licking lollipops and playing with a balloon.  She was pretty happy except when anyone wanted to move her.

The doctor informed us that Hannah would possibly need surgery and that she was going to contact the orthopedic surgeon at Mercy.  After a while the doctor returned to tell us that Hannah would be taken in an ambulance across town to Mercy Hospital for further treatment.  More waiting.  Two very kind paramedics came and managed to get Hannah into the ambulance with minimal fuss.  God bless ambulance officers.  I was able to ride with Hannah and to be honest, I was a little bit excited to be having a trip in an ambulance.  A first for me and I wasn't even ill, bonus!  Ben followed in our car and met us there.

We were put in another small, white room and Hannah was assessed and I told what felt like 10 people her details.  Stumbling every time with saying her birthday because it was 11:30pm and Americans say the month first, then the day, then the year but Aussies say the day, month then year (makes sense, don't you think?).  Anyway, Hannah had an IV put in her hand which was not a pleasant experience for anyone and eventually everyone left, the light was turned off and Hannah was able to go to sleep for a little while.

Around 1am, we made it up to the pediatric ward and Hannah was weighed and given her first pain meds.  Finally.  We got her settled as best we could and she fell asleep quite quickly.  I spent the night next to her on a fold out bed.  I was so tired it felt amazing.  Ben went home to sleep and be with the boys. At 7:30am we were collected for surgery. Hannah and I were taken down to the operating room and I met the surgeon. A no-nonsense guy who gave me the run down on what they planned to do with Hannah's leg.  I felt at peace and was sure that he was going to do the best for my precious girl.  I said goodbye to Hannah and I could still hear her screaming for me as I walked down the corridor.  I waited in the lounge and cried.

After about an hour, the surgeon came and told me that Hannah had been put into a 'spica cast' and he was hopeful that the bone would heal just fine.  As he described the cast to me, my heart dropped.  It was awful.  I was soon taken into recovery and reunited with a very groggy, cranky, thirsty Hannah.  She was desperate for a drink of water but ice chips were the best I could offer.  She was not impressed.  Eventually we were taken back to the ward where Hannah projectile vomited.  So much for  keeping the cast clean and dry.

She was miserable.  It was not a fun day.  We were able to take her home later that evening.  She was still very sore and not happy with being moved at all.  Getting her into the car was tricky and Ben ended up holding her on his lap as she did not want to let him go.  We got home and tried to make her as comfortable as possible on the couch.  It was late and we were all very tired.  Thankfully, Hannah slept all night through without waking.  Such a miracle.  She did wake in a lot of pain though in the morning and had to be bribed to take her pain meds.

Since then Hannah's pain has dropped every day.  She has slept soundly every night and woken relatively happy in the morning.  She is more able to be moved as her pain lessens which means she can sit up in the pram and even in her carseat.  She is quite frustrated by her cast and had been throwing some rather intense tantrums but I can't guarantee I wouldn't do the same in her position.

 

During this whole ordeal we have felt loved, supported and covered.  It is a wonderful and special thing to be on the receiving end of the concentrated care of the body of Christ.  We felt the peace of God over our home and His grace for us to do what needed to be done.   We rest in His goodness and are continually praying and declaring healing over Hannah.  We are believing for a miracle.  We know that God is Healer.

Thankyou to everyone that has prayed, sent messages, provided meals, visited and loved on us.  We appreciate it all and are so blessed to have each of you in our lives.  Hannah is doing so well, thankyou for loving her and us.

Time Flies!

Well well.  If it isn't a blog entry.

It's been a while coming, I know.  Things here are rather busy to say the least.  And now so much time has passed between posts, I feel a little swamped by the prospect of attempting to cover it all in one go. The natural consequence for procrastination I guess.

So, here's what's happened in the last few months.

• Thanksgiving:  This year we were invited to spend Thanksgiving with our wonderful friends the Millikan Family.  They are a family of 6 from Seattle, whom we got to know when their son (also named Sam) was in our son Sam's class last year.  When the 'new' Sam arrived, our Sam was a little put out. Who was this boy with the same name? What did he think he was playing at, trying to steal his thunder?  It was a new phenomenon for our Sam but it didn't take long before the threat of usurpation became a novelty and the boys became firm friends.  As the boys grew closer, our families also got to know each other.  We had a wonderful meal with them late afternoon on Thanksgiving, too late to be called lunch and too early to be dinner.  Apparently that's tradition.  It was loud, slightly chaotic and rambunctious but it was also fun, happy and relaxed.  Perfect.

• The Turkey Trot:  Earlier in the day, Thanksgiving morning, Ali Millikan (the amazing matriarch of the afore mentioned Millkian family) and I ran the 6 mile Turkey Trot.  Looking back, I probably shouldn't have dragged her along seeing as she had only given birth 6 weeks earlier.  Anyway, she did great and we had a grand ol' time trotting along the Sacramento River trail with a couple thousand others.  If anything, it made room for the meal which was to follow later.

• The Holiday Feast:  This is an annual community event run by Bethel Church to reach out to the poor, homeless and people in need of Redding.  It is a free sit down lunch with three courses entirely done through volunteers.  The aim is to give these people a Christmas meal and experience they otherwise would not get.  It was held at the Redding Convention Centre and I think over 1000 people were fed.  Every table was hosted by a volunteer, who decorated the table with their best china, ornaments, treats and cheer.  The meal was served to the people by hundreds of servers, all dressed in black pants and a white shirt.  Outside the main dining room was an area reserved for kids to meet Santa, have a photo with him and choose a gift.  Outside in the carpark was a huge marquee with tables and tables of secondhand clothes, sleeping bags, blankets etc.  When each table had finished eating, each person was given a bag to go and fill up with whatever they wanted.  There was live music, a drama and powerful testimonies of God's goodness and love.  The gospel was preached and people gave their hearts to Jesus.  It really was a demonstration of the Father's love.  Watching these people being treated with honour and love was truly incredible. I was privileged to serve in the kitchen and spent time preparing food the day before and then plating up the dishes on the day.  It was so much fun.  What made it extra special is that right in the middle of the meal, it began to snow outside!  It was so very pretty and made the day seem extra special.

• Sam's 7th Birthday:  December 21st saw Sam turn 7!!  Wow.  Time really does fly.  I cannot believe that my first baby is growing up so fast.  That being said, with each year that passes we get closer to the age when all the kids want to do on Saturday morning is sleep in.  I'm looking forward to that.  Sam had asked us to buy him a watch for his birthday so I went searching for one that fit all his criteria.  It HAD to have a stop watch function.  I managed to find one and he was pumped to be able to tell the time.  And tell me the time, and tell Ben the time and anyone that came within 3 feet of him.  For a while there we knew what time it was every few minutes.  It was both irritating and quite handy.  Sam would also time us doing various things, without our knowledge.  For example, I'd go to the loo and come back to be told, 'woah Mum, you took 10 minutes and 37 seconds in there.  Why did you take that long?'.  We also invited the Millikan family to join us for an afternoon at Chuck E Cheese's.  It's an arcade type place where you buy tokens, the kids use the tokens to play games and the games spit out tickets with which you 'buy' a piece of rubbish toy at the end.  Whoever thought it up is a genius.  It totally feels like a casino for kids.  You pay $50 for a bunch of tokens and end up with a plastic cockroach whose legs snap off on the way home in the car.  Genius!!  The kids had a blast though and Ben had fun figuring out the machines and making them spurt out ribbons and ribbons of tickets.  The kids loved it!  Oh and it snowed on his birthday!!!

• Christmas:  Christmas without family was a little harder this year.  Last year we were blessed to have my parents visiting us at the time and so Christmas felt a little more normal.  This time it was just us.  It only hit me on Christmas Eve, as I was looking at the Christmas tree and thinking about what our extended family were up to.  Feeling sad didn't last long though as I began to be thankful for being here in this place at this time.  God reminded me of His goodness once again and I felt much better.  We spent the day together as a family enjoying Christmas music, presents,  the odd scream fest as the tired kids lost their mind over their new toys, food and cider.  We were blessed to have hot chocolate with friends in the afternoon and then on the way home from that we stopped and checked out some outrageous Christmas light displays.  All in all, it was a long but wonderful day.

• Randy Clark Healing School:  Ben had the honour of serving two of his heroes, Randy Clark and Bill Johnson at the Healing school/conference.  Randy is a teacher of the Word and has a strong gift in healing the sick.  He has a well known ministry called Global Awakening, which takes him to many nations teaching about healing and doing the stuff!  Hundreds of people were healed from all kinds of ailments and illnesses.  Even without being prayed for!  God's goodness and Presence is that powerful.  People were healed from deafness, blindness, cancer, heart disease.  Some people had metal dissolve from their bodies and freedom of movement in joints return.  One man testified to being healed of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  It was very very powerful.  I don't think there was anyone not moved by the goodness of God who was listening to this man describe his new found freedom.  Ben had the honour and privilege to serve Randy and Bill as they ministered.  Ben ran the mike and helped out with whatever they needed assistance with.  He had an absolute ball and loved being able to watch these great leaders move in their anointing.   He learnt a lot in those few days about how God moves and how we need to be so sensitive to what He is wanting to do in a room and how He wants to do it and partnering with Him in it.

• Gearing up for Mission Trip:  This year Ben has the opportunity to travel to central Asia for his mission trip.  Their team has been given open access to places and communities that would not normally welcome westerners.  Many of the details will not be disclosed to Ben (or me) until he gets there to protect those they will be meeting with and those on the team.   Thankyou to everyone who has so generously sown in prayer and finances for this trip already.  We so appreciate your support.  Please keep praying for the trip and covering the team while they are away during the first 2 weeks of April.  We are excited for what God is going to do in central Asia!!

• General Going's on:  The kids are loving school and we are so very blessed to be able to send them to Bethel Christian School.  They are happy and healthy and learning each week about who God is and how much He adores them, not to mention all the maths and reading etc.  The kids are flourishing and it is a pleasure to watch them grow in awareness of how much they are loved by the Lord and how that knowledge empowers them in the day to day.  Sam is cruising through 1st grade and seems to be a hit with the ladies, always bringing home drawings of hearts and rainbows that have been given to him.  Takes after his Dad in that way.  Hannah loves dancing and singing and anything pretty.  She is such a 'girly girl' and yet has this raw power that comes out when she's challenged that is not really lady like.   She is hilarious and we love her sense of humor and her funny faces and jokes.  I am often blown away by how much personality she has for an almost 3 yr old.  She's a little fiery gem and we love her!

Well, thats about it I think.  Hopefully it won't take me so long to write next time.  It started to feel as though I had a uni assignment to do that I was avoiding, which is a horrible feeling!  Who knew blogging came with such pressure!  

Time to dream

Being here in Redding is a dream come true.

God really values our dreams.  Not just the ones we have while we sleep, although our sleeping dream time is often used by Him to speak to us.  I'm talking about the real deep down desires of our hearts.  The things we tend not to tell everyone we meet because they are like a treasure; hidden and waiting for the right time to be revealed.  Or they are so outrageous that to disclose them to another person requires a very deep level of trust.

I am becoming alive to my dreams.  Things I didn't even know I felt.  Desires I have never had the arena or permission to explore.  It is a very liberating experience, being given the freedom to dream.  And yet, it can be difficult and scary if one has never been encouraged to lay bare the inner workings of their person.

I am learning who I am as a daughter of God.  As I begin to learn who He is, what He's like and how He is working in me, I feel safe.  Safe to explore my dreams.  To my Daddy God, my dreams are important, they are valuable, they are wonderful and precious.  Am I saying that if I dream of a sports car, that God is going to drop one off in my driveway tomorrow? Nope, not necessarily.  What I AM saying is that in Him, we have permission to dream but even better than that, we are welcomed into His heart to dream WITH Him!! It is glorious.

I am learning just how much my Father in Heaven loves me.  That He is so pleased with me, quite simply for being me.  I am the apple of His eye!  His heart is for me!  He never takes His gaze off of me and He is fiercely protective of me for I am His child.  Knowing these things (and so much more) creates a safe place for me to express my whole being; mind, body, soul and spirit.  It is paradise in His embrace.